This story was submitted to the website/publication The First Line. It didn't get published, but I think it's a decent story.

 

Tessa sent up a hasty prayer for forgiveness as she slipped on the dress Mama had bought her in exchange for a promise not to marry Al.

It’s always been that way with her. When I was six and didn’t want to go to my cousin’s birthday party, she bought me a new frilly dress to pacify me into going. When I was older, it might be a Walkman, a new CD, or designer jeans. She raised me to get my way or throw a fit until she’d buy something for me to keep me quiet. Tessa sighed. She thinks I’m still the little brat who can be kept happy by having plenty of new things. But I’m not a kid, and I’m not like her. I’m eighteen, in love, and she thinks she can make me throw away how I feel about my love by spending a few dollars on me. Not this time.

Tessa had learned by example. Her dad made a good living as a pediatrician, and her mama learned early in the marriage she could get her way by whining and bitching enough, especially if her dad had worked long hours for a few weeks. She wouldn’t always get her first choice, but she always had a second choice, usually less expensive, but enough to calm her down for a while. If she nagged a few weeks about a trip to Europe, he might appease her by letting her go to New York for a few days of shopping. If she wanted a chinchilla coat for her birthday, he’s talk her down to a mink. Tessa saw through their manipulations. They used and controlled each other in their games of give and take, with Mama usually coming out for the better. Once Mama talked about leaving him. That’s when she finally got her Mercedes. Tessa knew she usually didn’t really want her first choice; she always had an ulterior motive. She must assume I play that game, too, but I don’t.

She heard kids at school refer to her as ‘rich girl,’ until she transferred to a private school in eighth grade. After that she was just another face in the crowd, and she liked it that way. Most of the kids there had well to do parents who wouldn’t dream of letting their little darlings be subjected to the riff-raff found in public schools, riff-raff Tessa thought of as friends. She refused to seek approval from the pretentious, snooty girls at her new school. They reminded her too much of her mama. She got along better with the girls whose parents had to struggle to send them there, or who attended thanks to the generosity of relatives; girls who didn’t show up regularly in the local newspaper’s society pages, or ‘bitch pages,’ as Tessa called them. To stand apart from the perky cheerleader types, whom she noticed usually came with plastic smiles and more insincerity than a career politician, she wore black almost everyday.

Mama pushed Tessa toward socially proper events, but Tessa shunned them. She agreed to attend a Mother-Daughter banquet at the country club in her senior year (country club membership from Daddy, for Mama, in lieu of a trip to Europe), in exchange for a cell phone upgrade and $200 cash. She applauded at the right times, ‘ooohed’ and ‘awwwed’ at the right times, and played her part for the evening.

She was in the hall, returning from a trip to the restroom (at least that’s what she told Mama; she needed a smoke) when she met Al. She considered him striking, wearing a white jacket and black tie. He was also there for the party – as one of the waiters. She thought about him the rest of the evening.

When Mama was later trying to speak to every socialite present for the occasion Tessa lurked through the club, looking for Al. She finally found him behind the kitchen smoking. She leaned against the building and pulled a cigarette out of her expensive clutch purse. “Got a light?” she asked.

“Does your mother know you hang out with the hired help?” he asked as he flicked his lighter. “Shouldn’t you be in there with the other debs?”

“Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

“Then why you here?”

“I was bribed,” she said as she blew smoke out her nose. She thought she recognized him. “Where’d you go to school?”

“Where do you think I went?” The town had one public high school.

She nodded. “So when did you graduate?”

“Didn’t. Would have last year if I would’ve stayed in.”

“I was there until seventh grade. I think I remember you. You were a year ahead of me.”

He nodded. “So what’re you doin’ out here now, besides smoking?”

She looked at him. “Asking you out. You workin’ tomorrow night? Let’s go to a movie.”

He laughed. “Yeah, right. Me and you, goin to a movie. You crack me up.”

“I’m serious. Where do you live? I’ll pick you up.”

“What would your parents say?”

She shrugged. “About what you think they’d say.”

“Sure. Let’s go.”

He gave her his address and they agreed to meet at the theatre at nine fifteen. He insisted on driving his car there. “What’s wrong?” she asked. “You afraid of being seen with a white girl?”

“I happen to be half white myself,” he said.

She shrugged. “Oh, what’s your name?”

“Alphonzo. Call me Al.”

“My name’s Contessa, but never call me that. Tessa will do fine.”

“You’ve got, Tessa.”

 

The next night she left the house without telling her mama where she was going. She wore black jeans, a black t-shirt, and black Converse high tops. He wore baggy blue jeans and an Alan Iverson 76ers jersey, complete with cornrows. She and Al sat through a suspense movie. As they were walking leaving their seats she asked, “Wanna see another one?”

“You’re gonna pay for another movie?”

“No. We’re gonna walk down the hall and go into another movie. I do it all the time.”

“Sounds good. You gonna buy me some popcorn, rich girl?”

“Screw you,” she said with a laugh. “Good thing I’m hungry.”

 

Tessa started seeing Al almost every day. Neither of them had a peer group they felt comfortable with, and this helped them feel relaxed with each other. They always met at a mall, restaurant, or theatre. After a month, her parents had never seen him and his parents had never seen her.

They were walking out of another double feature one night when he surprised her.

“So how’d you like to meet my folks?” he asked.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yeah. They just came out of another movie and they’re headed this way.”

Tessa swallowed hard. The inter-racial couple walking toward them looked surprised but not shocked or outraged. His mother, an attractive woman in her forties, extended her hand. “You must be Tessa. Al talks about you all the time.”

Tessa blushed. “It’s good to meet you.” Talks about me all time?

Al covered his face with his hand and shook slowly shook his head.

His mother continued. “He said you’re pretty, and I see now he was telling the truth. You must come for dinner soon.”

He thinks I’m pretty. She leaned into him and took his arm. “I’d like that.” In that moment she knew she wasn’t just his friend, she was his girlfriend.

His dad didn’t say much; just smiled and departed with a “Nice to meet you.”

As they went in the next movie she said, “So you’ve been talking about me?”

“I might’ve mentioned you once or twice. Do your parents know about me?”

“They know I haven’t been hanging out as much with my other friends.”

He nodded. “You afraid they wouldn’t like me?”

“Mama has this storybook Prince Charming she imagines me dating. She married somebody who can buy her a lot of stuff and she thinks I’m as shallow as she is.”

After the movie they strolled through the parking lot hand in hand for the first time. They got to his car before hers. He got in and rolled down the window. They said goodnight but before he had a chance to pull off she put her head in the window and kissed him. They both smiled as he drove away.

Tessa thought about Al all night, but felt like an awkward schoolgirl who was afraid she had blown a relationship. She was relieved when she discovered her fears were unfounded. She called him on her way to school and he sounded like everything was fine. Her time with Al helped her to put her mama out of her mind, if only for a few hours at a time.

Two months after Tessa met Al, time was approaching for her senior prom. She didn’t plan on going, but Mama wouldn’t hear of it. “Of course you’re going to your prom,” she said. “We can go this weekend and buy a new dress for you to wear.” She clasped her hands. “You’ll be the prettiest girl there!”

Tessa didn’t think Mama believed that, but she let it go.

“There must be a lot of nice boys who’d love to escort you. I could even make a few calls and find out which boys don’t have dates yet, discreetly, or course.”

“No! Don’t you dare! That would be so humiliating!”

“Well dear, you can’t go without a date. It wouldn’t be proper.”

“I don’t care about proper. Besides, I already have a boyfr-” She put her hand over her mouth but it was too late.

“Why, Tessa! Why didn’t you say so? You shouldn’t keep something like a secret!” Mama was thrilled. Tessa had no doubt the feeling would cool if she met him.

“Yes, I have a boyfriend. Don’t’ act so surprised.”

“Well I had no idea. Where did you meet him?”

“At the Mother-Daughter banquet.”

“And you’ve kept it quiet all this time. What does his father do?” Mama asked.

“Retired military.”

Mama nodded. “Very honorable. Several parents from the school are military. You do go to school with him, don’t you?”

“Used to. He’s already out.”

“In college then. Where does he go?”

“Doesn’t. He’s still sorting out what he wants to do.”

Mama nodded, then shot a look that let Tessa know her cover had been blown. “Wait a minute. You met him at the banquet? There were no young men at that banquet. How could you have met him there?”

Here goes nothing. This might do her in and put her six feet under. “He was working there that night. He’s on the kitchen staff at the country club.”

“No! You cannot go out with someone on the kitchen staff! I forbid it! Why, most of the help at the Club is…is…”

“Black? Is that what you’re trying to say? Most of the help is black? Don’t worry, Al’s not black.”

“But hired help at the Club? What would my friends think?”

“I don’t really care,” Tessa said as she walked out the door. “Oh, and he’s mixed race. I’ve met his parents and they’re lovely people.” She looked back and saw Mama fanning herself with her hands. For the first time in Tessa’s life, her mother was speechless.

Tessa relayed her confrontation to Al. “You think she might soften up with time?” he asked.

“I don’t know.”

 

Her black prom dress could have been from the wardrobe of a Tim Burton movie. She accentuated it with black eye makeup. Al wore a traditional black tux. They were the center of attention, and she didn’t like it. They left less than an hour after arriving.

The next Monday at school the cool girls started calling her “Vampirella.” The uncool girls just avoided her. A month until graduation, and her only friend was a boy her mama refused to meet. She avoided talking to anyone at school and looked forward to not having to see any of them again.

Her grades slipped during finals, but she managed to pass everything. She was going to skip the graduation but Mama prevailed. “Please, Tessa, you have to go to your own graduation. Some of your relatives from out of town are already planning on driving to see it.”

“Okay, okay,” Tessa said loudly. “Just get off my back.”

On the afternoon before the commencement service, Tessa dyed her light brown hair jet black. She didn’t let anyone in her family see her before the ceremony.

She smiled when she received her diploma and looked into the crowd. She saw Mama’s face and knew the dye job was worth it. Mama was so adept at always looking respectable. She spent her life trying to make Tessa fit the mold of her definition of ‘proper.’ This time, things were finally out of her control, and Tessa relished the moment.

Later that evening she achieved the same look on Mama’s face again when she introduced Al to everyone at her graduation party. Everyone seemed to accept him except Mama.

She road around with him for better than an hour after the party. She didn’t think he was his usual self. She put her arm around him and massaged his neck. “What’s wrong?”

“Well, it’s just that…do you like me for me, or because you like to see your mom pissed off?’

She pulled her hand away and cried. “How could you say that? I love you Al. Haven’t you picked up on that? I love you and don’t give a damn what my mama or anybody else thinks.”

He put his hand on her knee and squeezed gently. “I love you, too, Tessa.”

She stopped crying and looked at him, black makeup tearing down her face. “You do?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I do.”

They drove to his house. No cars were there. “Where are your folks?”

“Out of town for the weekend. They wanted to come to your graduation, but didn’t know how your folks would take it.”

She grabbed his belt buckle and leaned against him. “Let’s go inside.” And they did.

 

An hour later, still in bed, she leaned on one arm. “Something is still wrong. What is it?” she asked.

He faced her. “I’ve decided what I’m gonna do with my life.”

“Does it involve me?”

“Hope so. I enlisted in the Army. I leave for boot camp in three weeks.”

“You what?” She started crying. “Please don’t leave me!”

“Hey…hey…I’m not leaving you. We’ll have to be apart for a few months, but after that…I want you to marry me.”

Her eyes brightened and she put her arms around his neck, smothering him with kisses. “Yes, yes, yes, yes.”

She got home at three the next morning. She snuck through the darkness until she got to her room. She closed the door silently and turned on the light. When she turned around she shrieked. Mama was sitting on the bed, staring at her. “Young lady, just where the hell have you been?”

She smiled. “Out.”

Mama stood and put her hands on her hips. “Well you’re grinning like the Cheshire cat. Aren’t you just so proud of yourself?”

“Mama, Al asked me to marry him, and I said yes.”

“Never!” she yelled. “You’ll marry him over my dead body.”

She didn’t answer but a dozen thoughts flashed through her mind, none of which she considered would be wise to voice.

Mama stormed past her. “We’ll discuss this tomorrow, young lady.”

Every time Tessa tried to talk to Mama reasonably she was turned away or scolded. The next three weeks flew by and Tessa cried at Al’s departure more than she had cried at all points of her life combined.

Two weeks after Al left, his parents moved. Tessa cried again. Her only support base was gone.

Tessa was distraught twenty-four-seven. Her mama tried to console her, to no avail. During their fourth week apart, Tessa received a letter from Al. He said he still loved her and still wanted to marry her, but he had chosen a specialty that would involve extremely difficult schooling and that they would need to wait eighteen months. He added that maybe her parents wouldn’t hate him by then. She cried, got drunk, and passed out. When she woke up she wept until she was sick.

“He’s found somebody else, I know it,” she said through the tears. She wanted to call him, to hear him say he wasn’t seeing anyone else, but that was impossible. She wrote to him and begged him to find a way to call her.

Two weeks later she was convinced she wouldn’t hear from him again. For the first time, she voiced doubts to Mama about marrying him. She saw a smile cross her mama’s mouth and was glad she didn’t hear “I told you so.”

A week later she still hadn’t heard from him.

She was looking for liquor in her parents room one day when she ran across a letter in one of her mama’s dresser drawers. It was postmarked the day after the last letter she had received. “The bitch took it before I had a chance to read it,” she said softly. In the letter, Al reaffirmed his love for Tessa and told her he had to know if she would wait for him. He said he had got hold of a cell phone and if she still loved him, to call the number within two weeks. After that he’d have to get rid of the phone. She grabbed the phone and called the number but it had been disconnected. She went on the worse crying jag she had ever been on. She didn’t let her mama know she had found the letter.

A week later she had given up hope. “Tessa,” Mama said, “you haven’t left the house in days. You have to get out and go somewhere. You can’t cry forever. What can I do to make you feel better?”

Tessa said, “Let me think about it for a while.”

Three hours later she found Mama watching soap operas. “Mama, could we maybe, go shopping? You know, like we used to?”

“Why Tessa, that’s a great idea.”

For the first time in recent memory, they went dress shopping. Mama started by looking at darker colors since Tessa had been exclusively in black for over a year, but Tessa went to brighter colors and looked at floral prints. “I’d like to go a different direction for a while,” she said.

“That would be wonderful! You pick out any dress you’d like, no matter the cost, and if you’ll promise me you’ve decided not to marry Al, I’ll get it for you, as well as new shoes and whatever else you’d like to go with it.”

Tessa nodded. Same old Mama. Still trying to control the situation with money. I’m surprised she didn’t offer me money to forget about Al.

They got home, Tessa reserved and Mama proud of herself. Tessa went to her room, put on the dress, new shoes, and new accessories. She tiptoed through the house to the garage. She looked around one last time before driving the Mercedes out. Her dad’s six foot ladder was in the corner. It would do fine. She took the rope from a drawer and tossed it over a rafter. When she was a child she had watched westerns on television and had learned how to tie a noose. She tied it from memory and anchored the other end of it on the leg of a heavy table. She climbed the ladder to the fourth step, slipped her head through the noose, and took a deep breath. At least Mama will like the dress.